Hello and welcome back to The White Room!
I’ve been away for a bit on holiday but I am back with this short guided meditation on setting boundaries.
This audio was originally created for a private client who came to me because they were struggling with people-pleasing in their romantic life, to the point that it was resulting in a deep sense of confusion and conflict. The audio is designed to help the client set better boundaries, first by tuning into their own wants and needs and asserting them calmly and reasonably to their partner. However, this skill could just as easily apply to work, friends or family relationships.
And believe me, if you want to have healthy, happy, productive relationships with the other human beings around you, boundary setting is essential.
People-pleasing is something women, in particular, are socially conditioned to do, but men are by no means impervious to it. The concept of being a ‘gentleman’ is loosely defined as putting the needs, comfort and desire of others before your own. And while this is a lovely idea in many ways — basic good manners, really — when we internalise this value deeply, over time, it can cause us to lose track of who we are, what we want and what we truly desire. When we people-please habitually and unconsciously, this behaviour can become so ingrained that we feel our life is no longer our own. A sense of dissonance and confusion sets in, leading to suppressed feelings of resentment, unhappiness and even anger.
Ironically enough, chronic people-pleasers can often be avoidant, temper-mental and explosive. This isn’t because they are selfish by nature, but because their habitual selflessness, over time, causes them to snap, run away or shut down completely. The solution is to set boundaries and assert them. Sounds easy, but for chronic people pleasers and codependent personality types, this can be very frightening at first and takes practice. This audio will give you the tools to begin the process of setting healthy boundaries and sticking to them in all aspects of life.
I hope you enjoy it. It’s free so please feel free to share and let me know what you think in the comments.
If you’d like to book a private session to work with me personally on this issue or anything else, just respond to this email or check out my website here to find out more about the broad range of issues I treat as a coach and cognitive behavioural hypnotherapist. My rate is £150 per session, and I also offer discounted package rates.
For access to to all the audio in The White Room archives (which deals with a broad range of issues, from focus to anxiety to insomnia, weight-loss, habit-change and loads of other stuff) do consider buying a paid subscription. For just £9 per month you’ll get access to a wealth of targeted guided hypnosis and meditations that can help you with whatever you happen to be struggling with.
FINALLY, if you have any suggestions for issues you’d like me to deal with here I welcome your suggestions in the comments.
Enjoy and see you back here next week.
LMx
Share this post